Illuminations
Page 5 of 14

Steed and Emma play pick-up sticks, tiddlywinks and presumably golf. Steed walks around pretty much saying, "Shoot me—I know too much." Emma has two rough encounters with a chair. Collins sounds like Cary Grant.

That Reed guy is a real jerk. The way he stops Steed from teeing off on the first hole is clearly annoying. It makes you want to see Steed punch him in his stupid face. Reed doesn't say "sorry" or "excuse me" and he completely ignores the etiquette of golf. The fact that he is part of an evil scheme comes as no surprise. In the end, we are given the ultimate satisfaction of seeing Steed kick Reed's butt. Some guys are villains because they just like to push people around.

The real treasure is the golf ball bazooka. This weapon alone could rearrange corporate structures the world over. Used sparingly at different courses, you can knock off several high-level executives while making them look like victims of golfing accidents. You might make a killing on the stock market, or simply get rid of that guy who ticked you off. This gadget is loaded with options.

This fun episode is the perfect antidote to Harvey Penick's "And If You Play Golf, You're My Friend: Further Reflections of a Grown Caddie." Let's get real—golf is a very treacherous game.

Illustrations Copyright 2001 Jonathan Woods. All Rights Reserved.
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This website Copyright 1996-2017 David K. Smith. All Rights Reserved.
Page last modified: 5 May 2017.

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